This photo was taken in September 2018. It was taken on a day when my father, Bruce, was struggling with the loss of his life partner - my beautiful mum, Marjorie. They were married for 63 years.

The shot was taken in the basement of the Taree rowing club, on the NSW mid-north coast. After attending the local parkrun, Dad suggested we pop into the club to show the kids their equipment. Whilst we didn’t stay long…it was long enough for him to have a quick row. I suspect he badly needed it. He was deeply sad, and we all knew it. For a naturally quiet and reserved man, he was unnaturally withdrawn and remote. What I see in this photo is a man in mourning, with his concerned grand daughter looking on, not quite knowing what to do.

The sadness of this image is made sadder by the fact that dad has also since passed away, almost 3 years ago. But as sad as the image is, I also find it very inspiring and have wanted to write something about it for a while.

A simple philosophy

If there was one thing (amongst many things) you could say about my father, it was that he had a healthy discipline for doing the things that were good for him. Like taking a daily spoonful of cod liver oil, or eating lemons, or - in the bad old days when vegetables were boiled - drinking warm vegetable water with a big dollop of beefy Bonox! (which I always found rather unsettling) .

One of his healthiest disciplines related to physical activity. As I tried to capture in Get Moving Keep Moving, Dad was an habitually active person. His free-roaming rural childhood set the platform for a lifetime of movement. As an adult, his innate curiosity led him to pay close attention to emerging health science research, from which he drew a simple conclusion:

Keeping the “engine idling” was an essential for this curious man. Keeping things in good working order meant that he could do lots of things he wanted to do. It also meant, as a clergyman, he could make the positive community contributions he wanted to make.

Running out of the blue & rowing through grief

Unfortunately, being curious & active doesn’t give you immunity from struggle…& Dad sure had his fair share. Throughout the 1980s & 1990s he lived through numerous periods of severe depression. This stripped enjoyment from many aspects of his life, including his industrial chaplaincy work. Some days it was a battle for him to do anything at all, like sitting in the car for 20 minutes to muster enough energy to make a site visit.

The one constant through these dark days? You guessed it, physical activity. Whilst our family doctor encouraged him to keep moving, he didn’t need much convincing. As he liked running, he did as much of that as he could, even when his anti-depressant medication made it feel like he was dragging a tyre around behind him. But he continued to do it. He knew it was important for stabilising his mood, and for giving him a sense of accomplishment. He was determined not to succumb to inactivity and surrender.

This brings me back to the photo. For me it’s a powerful reminder of Dad’s utter commitment to physical activity in good times &, most notably, in bad times.

During his 40s, 50s and 60s he was a regular runner, before turning to rowing in his 70s and 80s. In the good times, both were sources of great enjoyment. In the bad times, both were sources of great solace. This was especially the case in the 19 months that Dad had to face the reality of a life without Mum.

But rowing was also a sport that he found endlessly interesting. The physiology of the effort; the buoyancy, propulsion & drag of the boat; the connection to nature. Added to that, there was a caring community of rowers, who welcomed his interest, gave him his first competitive rowing experience at the age of 85 & then, later that year, gave him the Novice of the Year award!

Does physical activity help our mental health?

As far as scientific questions go, this one has had plenty of attention in the last 20-30 years. Study after study has shown that regular physical activity - aside from enhancing physical health - also positively impacts both the maintenance of one’s mental health (via, for example, increased subjective vitality) & the recovery from mental ill-health (via, for example, decreased depressive symptoms). Whilst more research is always needed to understand what forms of activity are best for different psychological circumstances, there is enough evidence to indicate that physical activity is an important scaffold for enduring, positive mental health.

“Baby, you’re my oxygen…”

To end this blog, I wanted to include the lyrics from the song that triggered it. A song that’s been running around in my head for weeks, & keeps reminding me of the photo of Dad & Ella. A song by US rock band Beach Bunny, called Oxygen:

“Help me out of this place, I'm stuck inside a wave
of confusion over what's the solution with my life
Mostly, I'm okay with having a few bad days
locked in my bedroom with my heart out on display

But they don't wanna view you the way I do
and life looks better when it's with you
Suddenly, everything is easy
I've never felt something so deeply

'Cause with you, with you, I breathe again
Baby, you're my oxygen”

Whilst this song is in fact about romantic attachments & letting go, I’ve been ascribing an expanded meaning to it. A meaning linked to mood-enhancing physical activity, something that cannot really be done without, partly because it helps to keep the good times good, & partly becuase it can help us to keep breathing - literally & metaphorically - through the hardest of times…like when dealing with the loss of a beloved spouse or life partner, or some other deeply challenging life event.

* Dedicated to the beloved memory of Marjorie & Bruce xx

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